2009 MTV Awards: Fuckery Of The Year

So I only had intentions of watching the opening of the show because I figured that would be the highlight of the night. But LAWD I'm glad I endured the remainder of it. And all I gotta say is Black People you always NEVER fail to disappoint me. LMAO! and that is so NOT a good thing right now.


Alright you guys know the deal. I'm lazy so I won't be covering what any of those bitches were wearing (who gives a shit anyway?) won't be covering who had the best performance (womp womp), NONE of that boring ish. Just my take on the night. Oh and Please stay tuned after this post! I'm gonna highlight some of the funniest tweets of the night!

While her speech was GREAT...I didn't get the relevance of the moment. The shit was TOO lengthy! They should've played the "wrap it up" music after about 3 minutes in. What? All we wanted to see was Janet anyway dammit!


And she most definitely delivered! Ms.Jackson's STILL got it! LOVED that she performed her & Mike's joint "Scream". Gotta admit I was expecting them to do more MJ tributes though.

Whoooooooo continues to let this dude hosts these shows???

REALLY Amber??? *in my webbie voice* U'z a bad bitch BUT a Anaconda Cat Suit??? Chilllllle...um. no.

Lawd...so many concerns! But I'm gonna bow out gracefully with a dignified NO COMMENT...LOL!

Speaking of NO COMMENTS that has NOTHING to do with this right here. There are SOOOOO many things wrong with this pic. So THIS is Diddy's "hot" new group "Dirty Money"???? *Blank Stare* Lets try saying something nice? Dawn's shoes are HAWT!!! Everything else....FAIL! WTF??? @ that hair *cringes*

Ms. Keys lovely as always. (Where's Swizz???)

Solange..Cute!!! Question though, does she EVER plan on lining up her fade???

Bey! OMG! Did y'all cop the pre-show interviews??? Funniest shit EVERrrr!!! IDK if that was her bodyguard "Julius" or some other random who walked in front of the cam during her interview but all I know is that she checked that ass with the QUICKNESS! LMAO! Did it in TWO words "Excuuuuuuuuuuuuse Me"

Keri KILLED it! Well umm the red carpet that is. (Did we really wanna see her perform anyway???) So glad she got rid of those curly ramen noodles she was sporting on top of her head a minute ago...

Well one things for sure, we won't EVER be able to say that she's not original...

She had quite an interesting night...

GREAT performance, took home "The Best New Artist" award, dedicated her win to "God and the Gays",

*Blank Stare*

Endured Russell Brand bringing up her genitals that hermaphrodite mess annnnd let's see, oh yeah she BLED on stage... *blank stare*

Kissed a frog....

But out of ALL her highlights this HAS to be my favorite...

This bitch had a BIRDS NEST on her face!!! LMAOOO!!! SheIsWeirdAsHell.com

Bey Performed...She KILLED it as always...but ummm...y'all don't get tired of the SAME shit EVERY time???

Pink did damn acrobatics and circus shit on stage...all while wearing a pink pastee.ummm...ok...

and the B.E.T. oops wrong show....

lets try this again....

the COON AWARD OF THE YEAR goes to....

NOT even gonna reiterate on what he did but that was the MOST DISRESPECTFUL IGNANT SHIT EVERrrrrrr...I would call it "Unbelievable" but you & I both know that is SOOOOO of his character....Miss Taylor should've gave him a "Swift" kick in the ass...and I'm even MORE disgusted @ you ignorant people tryna JUSTIFY what he did...

and of COURSE he apologized.....well kinda....

(Photo scooped @ TheYBF)

In Laments terms "My bad, bitch but I was RIGHT"...LMAO! backhanded ass apology...not gonna stop me from listening to & downloading his music off the innanets though...I still like him *shrugs* (don't judge me)


They call her the Baddest Chic in the game...but I call her the "Classiest"...Big ups to Bey for giving the girl back her moment! There's a reason she's #1 and this proves it! Owwwwwww!!!

last but NOT least...(even more niggatry) The WTF MOMENT OF THE NIGHT AWARD goes too...

Bow Wow Lil' Mama bomb rushing Jay & Alicia's finale performance...

LAWD after all the events of last nights awards, I'm just gonna go out on a limb here and say MTV might wanna hire stage front security next year?? LMAO! Why is it so easy to hop on stage anyway???

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2009 BET Awards....ummm...yeah

Sooooo....I actually watched the ENTIRE show this year including the pre-show...and while I must confess it wasn't a TOTAL let down...I did expect so much more...Here's my mini Recap of the events....


Tocarra @ The Red Carpet Pre-Show....who the HELL keeps approving her to host these damn shows...lmao...I like her but this trick is GHETTO....I thought Top Model schooled them gals on public speaking & etiquette...CLEARLY she FAILED....

Speaking of Tyra.....what in the FLUCKITY HELL was she wearing??? WHO did her hair??? How do you fuck up a lace front? I don't get it....

And apparently Three 6 Mafia is STILL getting nominated for awards.....

*blank stare*

There last single was released back in......ummm...yeah

Taraji....Love her...LOVED the look...that hair not so much....I gotta admit I thought it was pretty cute when they had a Baby Boy flashback and Jody aka Tyrese got on the stage...well ummm....until Ving Rhames came up and gave the audience an ignant display of niggatry...

LeToya...Her pre-show performance...2 thumbs up!!! She did her thing...them shoes are ooogly...

Kanyeezy and Amber Rose.....That Amber always manages to steal the scene....Bad Bitch! Question tho....does she talk??? Never heard her say shit....

Arsenio Hall....I ain't seen this nigg@ since Coming To America...lmao...so RANDOM!

GHEY26.....No Comment....

Keri Hilson...HATE the hair...the dress got mixed revues but I actually like it and her skin is FLAWLESS....bitch! LOL!!!

Her performance??? ummmm yeah....alrighty then....

Alicia.....HOT!!!!!!!!!!!! Would've loved to see her perform tho...

I think it's safe to say that Jamie was damn near a one man show...and I loved every bit of it...Why did his MJ glove KILL me tho??? It looks like a bedazzled oven glove...LOL!!!

Even though Marlon Waynans totally gave the surprise away @ the pre-show...I was STILL excited to see New Edition open the show singing I Want You Back....Bobby looked a HOT MELTED ASSED MESS!

and eeeeeeeeeew

did you see him do that nasty ass tongue flip???

My boo Ronnie is STILL looking good....

Loved Ciara's Red Carpet look...that dress is CUTEEEEEE!!! and EFF her calves....

Her performance got mixed reviews but HELL I actually liked it...Yeah she should've actually DANCED but hey....

Beyoncé....Dereon original???? I seriously doubt it because it's actually cute?

Her performance....BEAUTIFUL...annnd we got to see her in her Wedding Dress/Tinker Bell costume....BUT....I didn't get that shit @ all....WTF was the point??? I was expecting an MJ song or something....HIGHLY disappointed.

WACK.....

Maxwell.....mmmmm mmmmm GOOD! Definitely the HIGHLIGHT of the show for me...I don't think there was a dry pair of drawls in the building after his performance..LMAO...men included!

The GHETTO TWINS performed...

IDK which one I hated more...Keyshia's taking the lead tho....

Ne-Yo was actually my FAVE of the night even tho my heart dropped EVERY time he flipped his hat off...but I think Mike would be proud...

I was actually astonished to see Joe Jackson in the building....and my MOUTH literally DROPPED when they interviewed him on the red carpet asking about funeral arrangements and he cut off the interviewer to plug & promote his new record label....WOAH!

and the show stopper of the night....

Janet spoke on her families behalf...I was two blinks away from tears as she spoke....

All in All it wasn't a BAD show...I think the tributes could've been WAY better but they did well considering the 3 day notice...and ALL the new generation performers need to FALL BACK and watch how its done because the OJays, New Edition, BBD, Keith Sweat all the OLD SCHOOL shit had me JAMMIN'....

Oh and word on the innanets is that C.Breezy was scheduled to perform a Tribute to MJ but ole' Hawaiian Silky spokes model Al Sharpoton got him pulled from the show...How fucked up is that??? I have my opinions about it...what are your thoughts???

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"For The Love Of Ray J *****Finale******"

I know I'm late as hell & I sincerely APOLOGIZE!!!

Forgive me? Okay good...let's jump right in...I just wanna start off by saying my predictions I did before the show were sooooooooooooo on point!!! LOL...

Alright so we all know during the last episode he made the decision to meet the remaining three girls parents before he made his next elimination. But after Danger's very peculiar breakdown ole' Ray finally came to terms with the fact that she may be just a wee bit....ummmm...Schizo-Bipolar-ish???

So he pulls her aside & breaks down his reasoning as to why he feels like @ this point she needs to go home. Honestly, I think she took the news WAY better than I thought she would've. Then again...during her confessional she reassured us all of her psychopathic tendencies when she said "Ray and I Love each other..whoever he picks, he's gonna STILL be with me" <------ LMFAO! mmmkay?! So he breaks the news to the other girls about giving Danger the boot. And of course they're effing ecstatic!!! And I'm sure Unique was relieved that she'd no longer have to sleep under the same roof as the murderer. LOL!!!

So now it's time to head to each girls hometown & meet their folks!

Up first was Unique...They headed to Cleveland in his "Private Jet" **cough...bullshit...cough**

and during their little plane ride...I hate to say it but I knew Unique sealed her fate when she told him that she wanted him to bring "Willie" to Cleveland instead of "Ray J"...because I guess "Ray J" has too many wild tendencies for her prude ass fam! LOL...It was almost as if she was asking him NOT to be himself....and I'm sure the little fool didn't like that too much...

Now I want to take the time to point this out....

Why does this IDIOT insist on wearing that hot, dumb ass chinchilla/rabbit coat? If being named Ray-J ain't tragic enough...he just KEEPS adding insult to injury with this MESS! LOL...

Moving along...

So he meets Unique's mom, pops & 2 sisters. And right off the bat they seemed like a pretty cool little family...nowhere near as prudish as I thought they'd be. LOL!

So they're all chit chatting it up over dinner THEN Unique's mom starts grilling his ass! LOL..

And she was going HARD!!! Had Ray-J all nervous & shit, sweating bullets @ the dinner table. And to be honest...I wasn't even mad @ moms because she was just doing what any REAL parent would do...which was grill his ass about his intentions with HER daughter. And he tripped me out when he told Unique's mom that she reminded him of HIS mother....Maaaaaan puh-lease Unique's mom kept it TRILL...his mom on the other hand was just cold & ratchett for no damn reason ...no comparison.

and while the lil dummy was doing this....

Pops was chillin' in the sidelines cracking the hell up...Daddy was KOOL with it...LOL!!!!

Sooooo after they wrapped things up & said their goodbyes it was time for Ray to fly out to Cocktails hometown Sacramento...

and immediately after meeting her folks...Ray J felt right @ home...I mean what better way to shake off the nerves than to partake in a round of shots with the fam....

Dinner @ Cocktail's house was like one big Fiesta!!! Although everything was pretty spunky nothing really "mind boggling" happened (see Ray J for the definition of that term) LOL! So to sum up all the dullness in a few words...

Boy ate Goat...

Boy hated Goat...

Yeah that was pretty much the highlight for me...LOL!!!

But I gotta say I found it kinda surprising when Ray J said he still kinda felt out of his element with Cocktail's family & felt more @ home with Unique's...

Maybe it was because Cocktail's Mamacita spoke no English or maybe it was because she mentioned she wanted a Bus Load of nietos (grandchildren)! IDK??? Anyway it was time for them to say Adios and head to Vegas for the final elimination!

So he had a final one on one with each girl before he made his decision....

Unique...

During their private dinner I came to the realization that this bitch is GOOFY as hell!!! LOL...IDK what took me so long to realize this but all her womp womping & monster laughs were hella ANNOYING!!! Anyway she finally opened up to him & expressed her feelings. She told him that she always liked him but it wasn't until after he met her fam that she felt a stronger connection & was really starting to fall for him. Ray seemed a little taken aback by her initial statement because he felt like he always liked her without second guessing. But none of that changed where things were headed & he invited her back to his room for a little "desert"...

He bought her (well somebody bought it) a diamond necklace...

And for the rest of the night they did a whole lot of this.... ***gag***

Cocktail...

One thing I knew from the jump was that her date would be far from DULL...So she puts on her little "Freakum Dress" & heads to dinner with "her man"...

So off the bat Ray J starts grilling her ass to see what her expectations & intentions are for him. And of course the bitch starts crying AGAIN! LOL!!! Then Ray J asked her what she thought of Unique & of course this was the most opportune time to rat her ass out AGAIN...that's what she does best...DUH! So she's yapping about how fake she thinks Unique is and the most entertaining part of it all was when she called Ray J's ass a RAPPER!!! LMFAO! Woooooh never a dull moment I swear.

Then the waiter brought out Cocktail's gift....

The ninja's a pimp...gave BOTH of they asses the same damn necklace...LOL

After dinner he takes her back to the hotel for a nightcap...Very Romantic...Roses, Champagne & Lingerie...and oh yeah a stripper pole in the shower.....

And girlie gave him quite a show...

So the next day he arranges for both of the girls to go shopping for the final eliminations. All I gotta say is Unique has TERRIBLE taste! LOL! Every dress she tried on was HIDEOUS!

But...it was finally time for a decision to be made....

Unique...she just wasn't what he was looking for. It was more so of a physical attraction than a real connection...And the thing that really killed her chances was when she told him that she liked him now more so than she did before...which had him wondering what exactly were her thoughts of him "before"...I think Ray J said it best when he said "I'd rather you be with a man who is what you want & not what could be what you want"...and all I could think was DAMN she had to get her shit pressed out for nothing...LOL!!!!


Cocktail...Bottom line he felt like he could be himself 100% around her. She was spunky, had personality, and never once asked him to change who he was...Yeah she was a snitch throughout the entire ride but hell it WORKED!!! So kudos to her....the GOLD DIGGER got her man!!!!!!!!

I give them all of three weeks before they introduce Season 2 of this shit! LOL!!! And I will NOT be doing a Recap if there is another season of this mess...LOL...this one murdered my soul enough & depleted WAY too many braincells....But it was very entertaining & I appreciate all of you who rode with me on this....

y'all know what to do... SPEAK ON IT.....

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