The R.E.S.I.G.N.A.T.I.O.N.

Well, it's official. Today marks the first day of being willingly unemployed. I've never resigned from a job before without having another one to replace it. For those of you who frequent this blog, you know my story. You know that I HATED my job. Naturally, I expect judgement and for people to be concerned about the decision that I've chosen to make. But, this is MY journey and no one else can direct my path but me, and God of course. Let me address the question I've gotten the most after spilling the beans that I quit.

WHY I did it?!

I've never been a fan of being complacent in a miserable situation. I sat in the same position for exactly 2 years. Not because I didn't try to move on, not because I didn't have the skill set to go elsewhere, but because everything in my "go-to" field was over saturated or just not worth it. I knew the day that I accepted the position that it was trashy, the bottom of the barrel and nobody else wanted it. I was in a position where I had to take it, I was unemployed and the unemployment checks were almost on E. From the interview, I knew it was bullshit, lies and a lot of things left unsaid. But I put on my politician smile and took the position. From the day I stepped in the door until the day I walked out of it, I was miserable. I was one of two receptionists. The phones rang like crazy, I couldn't PEE w/o getting someone to cover the front (that pic is so fitting, hunh? lol ) In fact, it was hard getting someone to cover the front when I didn't, have to pee. Nobody wanted to do that job. High stress, people calling cursing you out. The other receptionist made an already effed up situation worse. It was as if she had some sort of hex on our supervisor. Everyday she abused her breaks, she was calling in sick almost EVERYDAY, a disgusting attitude, filthy mouth and here's the best part...she used "God" and "Religion" to justify her fuckedupness.... I felt like ppl were walking on eggshells around her, especially our boss! She has no backbone, I'd complain to her, to her boss, to H.R. still no action.

And on top of all that, the pay sucked. It sucked royally. I was living check to check and building debt by the day. Then there was no room for advancement in the agency. No cost of living raises, bonuses, nothing. Zero opportunity. When I thought financially things couldn't get any worse, they did. The entire agency was put on furloughs. To the average person a day without pay might make a slightly noticeable dent but to someone like me, one of the lowest on the totem poll, it was devastating. Yeah, I enjoyed the "off" days but  my financial stability did not.

I was miserable. I was stressed. The stress was starting to take a toll on my health. Weight gain, irregular periods, anemia, depression, mood swings, it was fucking up my mental stability. Last week I felt myself tearing up at my desk. It was one of those uncontrollable situations. I composed myself enough to go to the restroom and locked myself in a stall. I cried. I'm crying as I type this. I didn't understand and didn't know WHY I was crying. I didn't WANT to cry but my body, my emotions said differently. I had to release whatever I was holding in. I composed myself again, went back to my desk, my eyes swelled again. I got up to take a break and cried again. After leaving the restroom for the second time, I knew something was wrong with me. Something terribly wrong. But what? All I know is I had to get it together, quick, because I wasn't going to let myself have an emotional breakdown IN THE OFFICE.

Doctor's have told me before, that my body & hormones are extremely imbalanced and that I seemed to be under a lot of stress. The funny thing is, I felt perfectly fine everyday @ 4:01pm when I stuck my keys in the ignition & headed home. My anxiety, headaches and misery didn't kick in until 7:01am, when I opened the office doors.

For over a year, I contemplated over & over again about how I was going to quit. I didn't feel appreciated and wanted to go out with a bang. I wanted my departure to be unexpected, at the most inopportune moment...

I wanted to make them feel my wrath....

I thought about....

nah, I'm too cute for prison...

what about going ape shit on a few hoes???

ehhh, I might mess my hair up...

a heartfelt note???

nah, I didn't want anyone effing w/ my final paycheck...

I know!!! An email explaining why I want to resign...

LOL, well my anticipated "big finale" didn't quite go in any of those directions. Last Thursday I came in the office, worked the entire day and got rid of any & everything I could think of that I didn't want left behind. I didn't say a word, I didn't tell anyone. Not even my boss. I came back Friday morning and headed straight to H.R. with my Badges, Keys & Access Cards and a single sentence resignation letter. Naturally, H.R. acted concerned. They wanted to know if I was sure I was making the right decision and if I wanted to talk to anyone. I declined. I had to do it. I had to do it for me.

I'm good financially and I have a roof over my head, so no worries :o)
I've learned that if you want a bosses lifestyle...then...

Sometimes you have to make boss moves...

Have you ever quit your job or made a decision that you KNEW people would judge you for? Tell me about it. I want to hear you.


  1. Girl, I am planning to resign in June. The college where I work has way too much drama, lawsuits included. Also, I am a youth program director that has a residential component in the summer. I work from 10 to 10 in the summer--until the students report to the dorms for the evening. This is entirely too much for me.

    Additionally, I am entrepreneurial minded, always have been. And this 9 to 5, doing somebody else's thing isn't working for me.

    I have always done side "businesses". I finally got up the nerve to incorporate my business. I am saving my money, growing the business (in hopes to supplement my income when I resign) and saving a years salary.

    I applied with the Census for part time, temporary employment to help accelerate my savings. I thought the same thing about people judging me, especially in this economy. Also, my business would be work from home and people saying, 'But you have a Master's degree.' But hopefully the business will supplement income and when I save my years salary, I won't be taking a risk because I don't plan to need a job until 2011. By then, if I choose to go back into the "professional" workplace, hopefully there will be a turn around in the economy.

    I need a break or I'm gonna act out all of those scenarios in the pics. Like you, when I literally start to feel bad each day when it is time to go to work and feel better at closing time, I know enough is enough. Life is too short to be unhappy.

  2. Too many times I thought about saying "F" it and leaving. It's still in my head now. I really want to go, but I just want to have something lined up.

    You're brave.

  3. I can't believe you stuck it out as long as you did! I really hope everything works out for you, and I know you already have some evil plan in motion! lol

  4. I am bowing down before you!. Earlier in my postings I expressed with wrath how much I hated my job! So girlfriend I commend you! Even though I know it's scary. As the bible says, walk by faith not by sight!


  5. DEEZY! Your piece of mind and mental health is far too important to let a job mess w/ you like that. You really did do the right thing for you. I mighta sent that email for real and on the bright side........YOU GET TO BLOG MORE!!!!

    You know the crap I go through at my job....but I have way too many responsibilites to tell them to suck it without having somehing lined up.

    Keep ya head up though. You'll be fine.....I got a couch in the Bahamas if you need

  6. Odara,long time no read. I had just started to indulge in your blog before I left in '08 and I am happy that we blog meet again. You are a very witty and entertaining read.Always.

    I have quit many jobs due to exactly what you described - stress, and the countless ways stress affected my daily life outside the workplace. I had began to snap on people for no earthly reason. LOL. I also read where you spoke of the pay not being up to par, so yeah,let 'em judge. You did what's best for your sanity judging from the hilarious images.

  7. You did a great job, your whole blog awesome, its interesting as well as informative, i like your way, try to follow it,

  8. Odara,
    You sent me here to look @ the template but girl when I started to read your post. OMG! Too damn funny. Judge you, yea I am going to judge you. My motto: If them mofos were going to fire you they wont give you a notice so I would have told them bitches to "KICK ROCKS!"

    On a serious note, I feel your pain. In 2002 I was in that place. I had a job I hated and I was constantly sick due to stress. When they fired me for missing sick days man was I glad. I felt like the Nile River had just been lifted from my back.

    I applaud you for stepping out on faith and know you dont deserve that shit and you are so much better for it. Now as we enter this world of entreprenuership lets get it!

  9. Odara,
    I recently began following your blog and i must tell you that i am never disappointed. I was in a similiar situation where the JOB was draining too much of my energy. Then they tried to mess with my money so I had to say bye-bye. I gave my manager my 2wks n the look on his face was priceless. I had a smile on my face the the next two wks because they was trying there hardest to get to me n they couldnt. I learned that u have to do what U think is best for U. If its affecting your well being the best thing to do cut your lossses. It took alot of courage to make that move , n u should be excited just thinking about the possibilities ahead! Dont let doubt creep in, u did what u had to do for U..Your the BOSS so let 2010 be on your terms.

  10. Loving the site!!!

    Become a follower of my blog; I will be sure to follow you.

    Thanks Ms T

  11. I remember when I quit my job over a year ago. It was so liberating! I was 16 and I felt like I had no life WHATSOEVER! On top of that, it was a fast food restaurant so you KNOW I was stressin'! lOl Anywho, When I did finally quit, I was actually happy, even though I would no longer be getting a paycheck, but I was fine with that; that's what grandma's are for! :D

  12. Thank you for all the great posts from last year! I look forward to reading your blog, because they are always full of information that I can put to use. Thank you again, and God bless you in 2010.

  13. Sometimes you've gotta do what you've gotta do. Enough said.

  14. Boredom and frustration oftens masquerades as fear - your courage to go it alone is the best thing you can do - it compells you to be resourceful, resilient and opportunistic. Will be watching, you will learn so much so be open to evolving everyday.

  15. @ Gifts, Thank you, I appreciate your words more than you know!

  16. lol@the pictures! sometimes the only way to get out of a dead end job is to simply get up, pack your things and never look back. its a tough decision, but i pray it will be one of the best you've ever made. wish u all da best!

  17. wow..that's how I feel most of the time..It's always like my boss and em, all they do is take, take, take from me..good for u steppin out..I would have swung my hair, throw on some shades, and strut my ass out of there lol

  18. Congratulations and keep confident and oipen to opportunities - they will start falling you way now you are looking for them.

  19. Breaking out of "the box" is always a challenge-find something that you love and helps society and you will be happier

  20. Be free, and i bet you are loving it now? Can we have an update?

  21. Oh yes, I quit a job after my boss yelled at me for the last time. The job I had after that was an equal nightmare at a total boy's club kind of office. I actually lost a friend over that decision. But I looked around the office and all the women had health issues- it was a toxic place for anyone who wasn't a white male. So I left. I left for my health and because I can't respect anyone who sits around complaining about their job without doing anything to improve the situation- including myself.