"Eat.Sh!t.Die!!!"

I think Kanyeezy started a movement with THAT phrase...Ever wanna tell somebody that? I find my mind reflecting those words every time I get annoyed...


Like when I get these types of calls @ work....

I know Chrissy feels me on this one....

ME: Thank you for calling ________, how may I help you?
CALLER: Yeah uhhh somebody just called me from this number...
ME: Did THEY leave you a MESSAGE with a NAME or a contact NUMBER?
CALLER: Uhhh no but my name is Jimmy & I'm just returning the call...
ME: Sir this is a BUSINESS and I'm not exactly sure who may have called you...
CALLER: Uhhh who am I calling?
ME: This is Company Name....
CALLER: well I didn't get their name I just saw the number in my phone & called it back...
ME: Sir, this is a very large company and if you can't at least provide me with a name to whom you're trying to reach, then I'm unsure how to direct your call....
CALLER: uhhh what do yall do there???
ME: We handle _______ for the ______ in the _______
CALLER: oooooooooh okay! Never heard of yall....
****long pause****
ME: Is there anything else I can assist you with Sir?
CALLER: Uhhhh no I was just tryna see who called me...
ME: Alright Sir well you have a GREAT day...
CALLER....uhhhh okay Bye!
ME: (click)

I HATE THAT SH!T...do NOT pick up the muthafuggin' phone if ya ass does NOT know WHO da FUCK you calling......


I also HATE....

  • when an asshole calls with a mouthful of food...(nigg@ chew that sh!t before you pick up the gotdamn phone!!!)
  • when someone calls me on a speaker phone then asks me to speak up...(bitch I ain't speaking the f*ck up but I do have a suggestion....how bout yo' lazy ass picks up the damn receiver & STFU...)
  • when a dumb ass calls back talkin' bout they got so in so's voice mail or so & so is away from they desk maybe YOU can help me....(naw nigg@ I CAN'T but I CAN transfer ya' ass right back so you can leave a MESSAGE!)
  • when I'm giving out information over the phone & the caller repeats back EVERY thing I tell them WHILE I'm telling them...(how bout you STFU & LISTEN or how bout I send ya ass an email because CLEARLY English in your 2nd language....)
  • when they call asking for Angela or some other simple ass name.....(Angela WHO Bitch??? It's like 5hunid ppl who work here, WTF is her last name???)

Like when I'm in line @ the bank, grocery store, wherever...



  • and the person behind me is WAY too close for comfort...you know the lady who takes 3 steps forward for every inch I move ahead...(back BACK bitch!)
  • or when the person in front of me steps outta line to go grab a few more items THEN expects to get their spot back....(I think NOT!)
  • and @ the grocery store when your buggy accidentally hits me in the ass more than once...(don't get fucked up in here)
  • when somebodies BRAT tries to jump me in line...(I WILL fight a kid & snatch they lil' ass up if I have to)

Like when I'm ordering food and...


  • I'm @ Blimpie and the retard in front of me says "uhhh I'll have a sub"....(stop holding up the line asshole this IS a SUB place, that's ALL they SELL here...go sit ya ass down, regroup & get it together...)
  • when I'm ordering food from a server @ a sidebar and the simpleton in front of me bends down to talk through the opening of the sneeze glass; as if the server can't HEAR them...(Bitch the glass is there for a reason STOP breathing ya hot ass breath on the food...)
  • or when I'm @ the drive through & the nigg@ ahead of me is ordering specialized gourmet shit...

"I'll have a burger ummmm no mayo, no ketchup, light mustard, half of a tomato, 1 strip of lettuce, sliced in half and can you saute my fries in non-fat cooking oil?"...

(this is Mickie D's NOT Benihana's...go INSIDE for all that shit!)


so ummm yeah....

EAT.SH!T.DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

8 comments:

  1. DEAD N GONE......

    vut why all that shit so on point i simply cannot stand when i am in line and ther person behind me is so close if i turn around i can count they eyelashes GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY SPACE NIGGA....

    and that whole call convo, u was nice odara, mines go like this

    me:thanks for calling______ how can i direct ya call (and yes i say ya..so what same ppl call air'day they know me...)

    caller:yeah someone just called me from this number

    me:silent on purpose

    caller:u there

    me:yeah i am here

    caller:well i said somebody just called me

    me:well its 200 ppl here i have no clue who called u

    caller:well what do yall do

    me:we install audio viasual equipment in schools, churches, hospitals, things like that

    caller:oh, well never mind maybe it was a wrtong number

    me:CLICK

    receptionist, hard as sjob, no joke lmao dealing with assholes and dummies all day long, i could sit @ home and do that shit while i watch maury.....

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  2. For once you make complete sense. But "sale" should be "sell"...always wanted to secretly correct someone on their site!!

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  3. ummmm Bryan??? you lucky I clicked on ya link b/c I was about 2 cuss ya ass out! lmfaoo!! and ur also lucky that we're on good terms now so I will just STFU & go correct the shit! lmfao :o)

    @chrissy..lmfaoo @ your phone call!!! I swear ppl act like being a Receptionist ain't shit but it's the M'Effing people that makes the shit pure HELL! and lmfao @ counting they eyelashes hahaha!

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  4. This whole post was funny as hell. I used to do mail order pharmacy calls, and shit, and when a person doesn't come on the phone right away, I hangs the hell up. I call that my 3 second rule. Your ass don't say something in 3 seconds, I'm hanging up. LMAO. I know I'm a stinker.

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  5. I hate the person who orders and is rude for no reason and is on a "Imma call the manager and get some free shit" mission, if you are broke eat at home, Cup of Noodles are 2/$1 , take advantage... ugh...

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  6. @Alise...oooooh I HATE that too...and those are the same type of people that get "special" sauces in their food...LOL..I don't Eff's with ppl who serve my food, if I feel like they have an attitude or something...then guess what? I leave...lol

    @Untouched Jewel...girl I don't see ANYTHING wrong with that...mainly b/c I do that ish too...lol..my thing is I KNOW I'm speaking loud enuff for you to hear me so if I don't get an immediate "Hello"...that ass gets the AT&T theme song (dial tone) with the quickness....lol

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  7. Odara we have WAY too much in common, I work in a call center and eryday i die a slow painful death!!! I think we need anger management, LOL!

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  8. LMAO @ Chrissy Snow!!!

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