"Don't Get Kilt Heffa"


So I work with some "interesting" people...For the most part everyone's pretty much cool....then there are some folks that have me constantly questioning their existence...LOL...and I'm so serious about that....There are a couple of loony tunes I'm gonna introduce to yall later but right now there's one in particular...

Here's the deal...So this chic sits about less than 10 steps away from me but there's like a little wall separating us...so I can't actually see her from my desk...Work wise we don't even have to interact because we do totally different shit. Let me put it li
ke this I'm pretty much a nice person, I can get along with ERR'body....However i don't do that chitty-chat & small talk shit because I don't like ppl tryna dip in my personal life. BUT...you know "some" folks take shit like that "personal"....Nah you know what...let me be blunt... YT folks take shit like that personal. (no offense to anybody)

Anyway this chic...lets just call her "Sue"...she's probably late 50's early 60's. It's a known fact that "Sue" had a stroke a few years ago. I'm sorry to hear that, yadda..yadda..yadda...yeah she's ok now & just looking @ her you'd never know...that's until "Sue" opens her damn mouth...there's nothing wrong with her speech but I'm convinced a couple of her braincells got depleted
a while back. "Sue" does questionable shit...like notifying me that the copier machine isn't printing when in fact the shit wasn't even turned on...stuff like that I just let ride & blame it on the after affects of the "stroke"..."Sue" also calls me Samantha....which for the life of me I can't figure out how she gets "Odara" confused with any other name. I just stopped correcting her after she explained to me that her niece "Samantha" looks exactly like me....which I gotta admit caused a little bit of alarm being that this chic is YT & well ummm...I'm not....anywho...

Here's where my frustration resides...problem is the bitch go
t a smart mouth...not just towards me but ERR'body...& ppl have the tendency to blame it on the "stroke"....well I say EFF that....

Example: Another coworker was selling some ish for her kids fundraiser...she asked "Sue" if she'd like to participate...."Sue's" response: "well if you give me a chance to finish what I was doing before the interruption, I may take a look @ it another day"...

see just all extra jazzy for no damn reason....


Another
Example: I ordered lunch for myself & a couple other folks. After it's all said & done "Sue" skips her ass up to my desk asking if I had some sort of problem....so instantly I draw a blank...which is followed by laughter....

however girly didn't think shit was funny...


then "Sue" proceeds to say "I've noticed this isn't the first time you've excluded me from the lunch orders...& I'm starting to think this is "personal"....lmaooooo!!! WTF??? So I gain my composure & tell the broad it's NOT personal...she gives me the mean mug & says "I'd just appreciate if you include me next time"....

Truth is it's not "personal" but just the mere fact that I don't like her mouth nor her tone I intentionally exclude her from ish...Problem is "Sue" will come back 10mins later tryna tell a joke or establish some small talk like she didn't just pop off @ the mouth a minute ago...and truth is I don't get over shit that EASY...so I don't entertain it...then her azz wants to get all sensitive like somebody's mistreating her....

am I being insensitive???

tell me about some of your weird ass coworkers lol....

20 comments:

  1. RMAOL damn I think you should just take her to the side and be like look I understand you had a stroke and you're old but if you don't stop getting on my nerves I will shank you office style now step off old ass miss daisy or feel my damn wrath LOL, if that don't work bake her an ex-lax brownie LMAO.

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  2. girl i done told you bout my co-workers! You might not have seen the twitter message this morning but the big boss was playing "me So Horny over the PA when anyone walked in.and that's not it, the ninja throws firecrackers and candybars @ ppl. he walks up the hall randomly barking. And that's just in the morning, lol. But "sue" sounds like she's lacking some friends.

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  3. @78msj...LMAO!!!!!!! I wish!!!! sounds like a reasonable plan to me but ya know being that I'm the minority around these here parts...that alone makes me think twice about a few things...LOL!!!

    @Bahama...ok bammy from here on out I'm gonna award your office the KLOONYiest of them all...LMAO...sounds like you work with circus & cartoon characters...Firecrackers??? What in the HEEZY????

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  4. I dig this one... silly, crazy, deranged indeed.

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  5. find out if she got a spare room I know EXACTLY what she needs..a nice stroke is all it would take....not the blood clot caused kind either.

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  6. @Ron...heeeeeeeeey dude where in the heck have ya been?

    @Bryan...lmao!!! you need PRAYER asap!!!! and the only reason ur tryna give her some of ya "strokes" is because all ya e-women kicked ya to the curb...lmao..& now ya homeless!!! lmaooooo!!! ;o)

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  7. Daaaang O, jus' ready to take that old broad out, hunh? LOL!!! Yeah "Sue" sounds crazy, especially asking you if there was a problem because you didn't order her any lunch. SMH. Wow. The replies I would have said to her...

    As for my own crazy co-workers, well I used to work with this one chick named Alice who I truly believe was semi-retarded but she was over 40 so they never fired her. She had a pregnant belly for over 10 years and never went and got it checked out even though she was having stomach pains. Didn't stop her from poppin' a coke every morning though. Finally, the pain got too bad and she went to the hospital and they told her she had a tumor. Did surgery on her and what they took out wasn't a tumor....it was a head with teeth and it was covered by hair. She was carrying her damn twin all these years and was too retarded to go get it checked out.

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  8. classic stuff. that's right hook speech thurr!

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  9. Yeah older people r a trip but older yt people r a vacation wit they one haven black friend self.

    @ sane

    LMAO dont you tell other story i cant take it.

    Alice chug-a-luggin pepto and she walking round wit a DAMN "head with teeth and it was covered by hair" in her belly.

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  10. Yeah I would have damn neared clocked this bitch. I am surprised you aint went dum on her ass yet. u bet not ever include her in ya lunch plans. tell her to bring a fuckin sack lunch

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  11. Did you know I offer a kneecapping service? Me and my bat will do the job for $5 + expenses.

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  12. lmao all yall are freaking hilarious...

    and sane..OMG!!! that sounds like some sci-fi kinda shit....WOW...I hope she didn't show yall the pics of that crap....ewwww!!!

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  13. Real talk...I would pull a Homey The Clown move on her- take a sock and bust her upside her head with it for talkin shit. LOL. Then read her the riot act about comin at me sideways.

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  14. You know how I feel....take that bish out. I would verbally fuck her ass up in front of the whole office to ensure she don't pull hat tough tittay move with me EVER again. Older people kill me thinking they can get away with saying whatever they want. Forget that...disrespect doesn't have age limits. You pop off at the mouf, you just may get hit in it. *rolls eyes*

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  15. @ Sane, eww...I bet it stunk!

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  16. That first picture is HILLARIOUS!!!

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  17. LMAO, this made my boring ass day ! I feel you though O, no reason to let her nutzo arse get on your nerves. Dude here is Sir Talksalot and he will talk you all around his point for a good 15 before he ever reveals what he's bothering you for. NO ONE, not even his bosses will stop to talk to dude. A few weeks back he lept into my office like a jack in the box and I damn near hurled my stapler at the door.

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  18. I know just how you feel w/the small talk & ish. I'm the only male & black in my division plus i'm like at least 20 years younger then them all so I get hit with all the foolishness all the time! lol

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  19. u shoulda told her u dont care for her and if she wanted to put in a lunch order she could have took it upon herself to place one. aint nobody got time to be kissin old folks ass all the time. u give respect, u get respect.

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  20. Well, I don't know if this counts as weird, but I get text messages from my co worker telling me that he's running late, now mind you, he is 32, but his text messages are so juvenile. They read like this: "I'm oN mY wAy, c u soon." I hate that ish.

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