"No...I Don't Want No Scrubs Thugs..."

Soooo....I'm in the grocery store parking lot minding my damn business when shit just goes wrong..

There I was stuffing groceries in the backseat of my ride...



When all of a sudden a big ass truck pulls up blocking my car...



So the truck just stays posted dead smack in front of my ish the ENTIRE time I'm putting up the groceries...WTF???....I figured their asses would move as soon as I cranked up so I started walking to my door...next thing I know the black tinted passenger window starts rolling down slowly....






OK so the Ninja's didn't have no Gats...

BUT...


They were fully equipped with these...




Looking like Two Gold Tooth Bandits...




I'm not the scary type...BUT...I am CAUTIOUS as hell....so I was preparing myself in case theses ninja's tried somethin'...




Don't know what I would've done, but I guarantee I would've thought of SOMETHING...

So anyway the goon in the passengers seat says



"Aye Ms. Lady I ain't tryna bother you but could I interest you in some Ipods & Video Cameras...."


So instantly I get that "Ninja Hell Naw" look on my face...



So I told dude "No Thanks I already have one"...But the ninja was relentless...



"You sure sweetheart???...we got video cameras"



So after giving him the Side Eye Of DEATH.....





I said "Naw I'm Straight"...then I opened my door to get in the car...

But Plies had other things in mind...



This ninja got OUT the car!!!


Next thing I know he's @ my door asking "What's yo' name beautiful???"...now I'm scurred because the ninja was holding my car door...In a very dry tone I said "Odara"...


"Odara you mind if I call you later?"


Before he could even punctuate that sentence I told him "I'm married" with the QUICKNESS...don't know why I thought the goon would give a sh*t though....


His ass shrugged & said "Ain't nothing wrong with having friends"....


I just smirked & said "I'm happily married"...the ninja FINALLY got the hint & said "Aiiight shawty" then got back in his truck....I wanted to swerve the hell off while his ass walked away...but I couldn't move because the ninja's still had me blocked in....(smh)....I had to wait until they drove off.



What the HELL I look like buying electronics off the damn street???



Maybe if they were selling these

and these...


Eff a damn Ipod...we in a RECESSION snitches!!!

And how do you go from tryna sell me electronics to tryna holla? EXPLAIN!!!

What are some of the worst pickup lines you've heard or experienced???

9 comments:

  1. LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!

    Oh, my side is hurtin' right now! LMAO!!!! I cannot STAND when they pull that "ain't nothin' wrong with havin' friends".

    Before I really got married, I used to use that alibi ALL the time! LOL!!!

    This post was hilarious. I can't remember my worst line but my most recent was like 2 months ago, I'm comin' outta Sally Beauty supply and I got stopped by 2 hispanic Ese's slangin' dvd's and cd's of supposedly one of their "brethren", that whole, we're makin' music instead of bangin' routine - even though they were tatted up like "American Me's". I took one of their cd's, 'cause i'm not tryin' to get shot up in the parkin' lot but after i'm on my way to my car, one of 'em is like "aw, you a cutie, where's yo' man?". I'm like "at home". He looks at my left hand and sees my ring and says "aw damn, you married, dude is lucky". I said "thanks" and tried to keep it movin' then he says "ay, do you have Mexican in you?" I said "nah" and he gon' ask me "do you want some in you?"

    *dead*

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  2. I agree with both of y'all, the "aint' nothin wrong with having friends" line blows my life!

    My worst and MOST DISGUSTING line was when I was at a club not too long ago. This guy had been eye effin' me all night and eventually built up the nerve to come and try to holla after spending all his money at the bar taking shot of bravery and courage. Anyway, he asked to buy me a drink and I was like I'm good. He's like, " too bad they don't serve milk. Because I'd lay you across the bar and poor it all over your body and by the time it gets DOWN THERE it'll be a milkshake."

    Needless to say I wanted to smack his ass.

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  3. GIRL STOP!!!!! you know damn well you took the ipod and listened to iss independent all the way home.so where are you and gangsta grizills going on your date?

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  4. LMAO, u could have reached out of bag of groceries ur box of Eggo waffles and smakced with that on "accident"..or the mase would have worked to..

    I think the worst lines I have gotten were the "God sent you from heaven lines, to make me a betta man"..I know life is perfect now that I have meet you. Nicca please..like the chick on SNL said You are so many kinds of wrong right now...

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  5. lmao, keep it real tho, you was scared, lmao

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  6. Lovely pictorial my friend. Just yesterday at my part time job the dirtiest Plies meets Trick Daddy ninja asked for an application,

    I replied,"We don't do applications you have to go online,"

    He says, "Oh I ain't got no 'puter"

    I reply,"You can get online at the public library"

    He says, "Oh alright shawty, hey hey do y'all do drug tests, oh and can I get your number?"

    Me: ****DEAD*****


    That is in the top 3 of the worst...

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  7. Oh Wow Odara.. that entire post had me snorting soda out my nose.. warn a sista next time dayum! LOL!!

    The worst pick up line ever thrown my way had to be in the club (when I USED to go - SEOD @ bshep & N0days)

    Him: "Excuse me but do you have sex with strangers?"

    Me: "No"

    Him: "Well allow me to introduce myself"

    Me: "WTH? Dude how bout you go brush them nasty toofes and dangling participles before you approach me again looking like Martin's charactor Jerome.. I.THINK.NOT!"

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  8. OK, Playa. U just made me choke on my Kool-Aid!!!

    DAAAAAAYYYUMM, that was a good post!!!

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  9. LMAO @ "Plies"! Girl, I'm a gold-tooth magnet, so I feel you on this one.

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