"She Better Hope I Don't See Her Ass..."

OK Fam, you know that it's rare that I get personal around here...but I'm tryna mix things up a bit because I get tired of talking about the whack ass celebs all the time. Hope I don't loose too many cool points with this one...but I know SOMEBODY will relate. We all have that one thing from childhood that we will NEVER forget, and for me I'll NEVER forget the day I got into my first REAL fight. Now I had been involved in a few name calling sessions & shoving matches before but NEVER a knock down drag out FIGHT.

I remember like it was yesterday...

It was summer of '94, I was in the 4th grade & my class was lining up to go outside to play what I thought would be an innocent game of kickball.

After about 20 minutes into the game I'm standing in line & I was up next...my game face was on & I was READY to kick the hell outta that ball.

Next thing I know some beastly broad rolled up outta nowhere & hopped in front of me. It was this little b*tch named Iyanna tryna punk me; she just straight tried to jack my place in line. Now there was no way I could let it go down just like that...I HAD to say something...

"aye you can't be jumping line"...

Now...Iyanna wasn't the average 4th grader. She was at least 6 Ft tall...And the rumor on the playground was that ole' girl drove to school & had two kids...(hahaha) Now of course this wasn't true but you couldn't have told me that.

on top of that she had two little bad ass sisters...the youngest one was the devil...

So after calling Iyanna's ass out for tryna break the line...I had the nerve to roll my eyes @ her trifling behind...Boy was that a MISTAKE...she started walking towards me @ a steady pace, she had this mean ass look on her face & kept yelling "I CAN'T DO WHAT...I CAN'T DO WHAT???"
Next thing I know she's right in my face...Now if it was any other girl I know for a fact that I wouldn't have hesitated before making a move. But Iyanna was a big bitch I needed time to think...

she didn't give me much time to think....

She pushed me...No she pushed the sh*t outta me...Iyanna was a strong heffa too, I had to catch my balance just to keep myself from hitting the ground. Then I looked around like "did anybody just see this b*tch push me???" Before I could gain my composure & plot my next move...Iyanna pushed my ass again...and I heard the other kids in line saying "ooooooooohhh"...This was my que, It was either hit that b*tch or get effed up by Deebo's daughter...

I chose to hit that b*tch...Keep in mind this was my very first fight...BUT...after about 5 seconds into it I soon realized that obviously Iyanna was just a little bit more experienced.

So I'm throwing crazy punches & slaps all over the place....even landed a few of them.

But Iyanna was coming hard. She was like the Hulk, she got madder & stronger by the second...

Finally the gym teacher stepped in & peeled the monster off of me. It took the teacher & 5 students to hold the girl back...

While they had her penned down I had to keep my gangsta...so I pretended like I was about to jump back in & go for the kill...BUT...I wasn't stupid I didn't get too close....Then all of a sudden Iyanna managed to get her arm out of the gym teachers man handle...then she proceeded to snatch one of her barrettes off...

These weren't your average barrettes....unh...unh...Average barrettes were small & fashionable. I use to wear them and my girl Savvy Fatty's little cousin wears them...

But Iyanna wore these... Her hair bows looked like two baseballs on a bungee cord...

As soon as Iyanna ripped that barrette off of her gelled down mini plat...all I could think was "what you about to do with that???"
Then all of a sudden the playground looked like a scene from The Last Dragon when that little Chinese dude whipped out the nunchucks to help Bruce LeeRoy's ass...

Iyanna clocked me right in the head with that damn barrette...and that was all she wrote folks...all I could do was...

After everything died down, my best friend came running from the other side of the field. She asked me what happened & through the tears I managed to get out these words..."We were fighting didn't you see us???"

Come to find out...while I was doing this...

My BFF was doing this...

had the nerve to slide into 3rd base too...but it's ok I know she would've had my back if she wasn't winning the game...(HAHAHA)

And do you know Iyanna had the nerve to apologize to me the next day & tried to give me a hug! WTF??? All I could think was "B*tch you just clocked a dent in my skull & now you want to be my damn friend, man back the eff up"...

OK so after taking a second look @ those baseball barrettes I just decided to take the safe route & take the damn hug...(smh) I felt like such a loser....hahhahah

So Iyanna I just want you to know that you better hope I don't see your ass in the street...

*I have to give a special shout out to my girl Savvy Sav....for letting me use the pic of her little cuz & helping me find pics of those damn barrettes...You wouldn't believe how hard it was to google that ish...(thanks girl)


  1. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA.. ahh that was a great story. i can't remember my first fight. in fact, i can't remember many of my fights in school. ahhh those were the days. President Anthony was a dominant force back in those days. lol

  2. lmfao!!! oh I'll NEVER 4get that ish...I would LOVE to hear everybody's 1st fight stories....somebody humor me Puh-leeeeeze!!!

  3. LMAO, typical odara. yur best friend knew better too! "man fuck that shit, she on her own, imma act like i dont see her and kick the shit outta this ball" lol

    for some reason i pictured lady of rage beating you up, lol

    good post

  4. hahaha...ok BJ I'm waiting to hear your story....*tapping my foot*

    I think Lady of Rage had to be her mama...hahahahah

  5. man listen, my first fight i swear was in the womb! i was a little scrawny thing and my dad and uncle taught me how to fight dirty and how to win. then they had my little ass protecting my younger cuzin (who is bigger than me, but she's a big punk). one day, some girl in my class, who obviously didn't learn from other people's ass-whuppins for messing with my cuzin, stole her lunch money out her hand. my lil cuzin comes to my classroom door crying. i jump out my seat and haul ass to the cafeteria and the whole class is following me out. i'm sure my teacher was like, "here this lil bitch go again!" i roll up on the girl and didn't even let her get the first hit in. i just started swingin and got her on the ground then i remember pounding her ass in the head and holding her down so my cuzin could get her kicks in.
    then both me and my cuzin get hauled off to the office and our dads get called in. by the time my dad gets there, i had gotten bored and wandered off. he gets to the office and sees my cuzin crying and tells the people that they called the wrong father and that she's his niece. then my uncle walks in and then my dad realizes what happened. he then tells the people that i would only have been fighting if someone messed with my family and the other girl prolly deserved it. he actually told them "don't call me no more when she fights. make them other kids stop messing with my family."
    and to this day, my cuzin be telling people the story and they be looking at me all crazy. i tell her that if she wasn't such a lil bitch-ass that i wouldn't have dished out so many beatdowns back in the day.

    there! it's not my first fight story but it's the first i remember in detail. and yes, i am still a brawler to this day (but u really gotta eff with my head to get me real loose). but i am trying to behave myself since i am old enough to get locked the fuck up with the key thrown away.

  6. btw... Odara...
    getting ur ass whupped ain't nuttin to be ashamed of. we all had some big bertha in our class that liked picking on the lil kids. at least u had the cajones to take her on.

  7. hahahah!!! ok "TroubleMaker" now I see how you got the name....lol

    hell I wish I had a cuz like you or that my sister was my age when I was in school...but I don't blame you...you're suppose to protect ur family...lol...

    and I'm laughing my ass off @ you talking about ur daddy told them don't call him no more if you get into a fight!!! hahahah

    now that was a story...thanks 4 sharing that girl!!! and I bet ur cuz will NEVER 4get you having her back!

  8. I had to fight a lot growing up, so all my fights are jumbled up into one memory. But I can remember my worst fight.

    I was in 8th grade. I had just moved to the south suburbs from the city so I was already a target. The burb kids use to think they had to prove how hard they were by eff'n with people. I was never the one to sit back and get picked on, or let folks talk stuff to me so that was already a formula for failure. Anyway I lived next door to two girls who I assumed were my friends. They had another friend who I really didn't talk too or like. So of course me and her got into it in one of the classes. The argument was dumb...she basically was jealous of me being new hanging with the "cool kids" and called me a kiss ass, so we went back and forth.

    After that class was gym. I wasn't going to get dressed for gym, but my two neighbors were like "come on girl, gym gon' be fun today." My dumbass fell for it. I was in the middle of taking off my shirt when "Ka Pow!" da bitch hit me! I had to start fighting in my bra. Then the other two girls who were suppose to be my friend jumped me. So I was fighing 3 girls and then one of them cut my hair. I don't how they did it but they cut a chunk of my hair! I was livid. The gym teacher came in and took me to the office. They wouldn't let me call my mom. I sat in there for 5 hours and no phone call. I go to walk home and the whole school is following me because the girls wanted to fight me again. I refused to back down, but my girls were with me this time and didn't let us fight.

    I got home and Mama A. Red was pissed! She called up my cousins and it was on from there. I woke up the next morning to 6 cousins and two aunties waiting on me. My mom gave me a jogging suit and a jar a vaseline, then told me to ponytail my hair. We got up to the front of the school and waited. My mom told me to point her out when I see her. I did and before I could get anything out I heard my mom say "you better hit her before she hit you" and it was on. It was the brawl of a lifetime. The girls were taken for medical attention and me and my fam were taken to the police station. We had to go to court and everything over this stupid altercation. I got kicked out of the school and had to start all over again. This is why I don't roll with females lol.

  9. lmaooo.

    i was laughing as i was reading but those gifs had me dying.

  10. Um-uh-errr... I've never been in a fight... I've been close to being in one, does that count? here goes: It was after gym class one day, we're in the locker room, I'm talking to my friend. Ole girl (big and bad like Odara's chick) was talking so loud I couldn't hear my friends. Me, being the lippy thing that I was, I yelled that whoever was talking so loud should shut up. So she came up to me yelling in my face about how I wasn't go'n tell her what to do and yada yada. I rolled my eyes and mean-mugged the hell outta her as she backed me up in to the corner. And by the grace o'God she backed off me and when she left, I about fainted. Some of the girls in the locker room told on her, so she got a suspension, but i never heard from/about her again.

    i need to learn how to fight properly tho, lol

  11. Okay and that story was from when I was ten, so....

  12. DAYUMMM A.Red girl!!! now that was messed up. First of all it's so cowardly to try and Jump somebody in the first place. People who do that type of shit do it because they KNOW they would get their ass whooped if it was one on one...

    OK...now I'm mad @ them girls who did that to you...and those chics who lived next door to you couldn't have thought they would get away with it that easy...

    and LOL @ your mom & ur cousin's representing...hahahaha...the Vaseline & the jogging suit...LOL...they definitely deserved what they got too.

    and I bet those girls went to court playing victim...(smh)

    I totally agree with you...I only have less than a handful of close female friends because females are to TRIFE & Katty...

    thx 4 sharing that girl!!!

  13. LOL @ Tayo...HAHA...I bet that girl wore those big ass barrettes too!!! LOL

    it's funny how all these chics tried to try us @ gym class...LOL

  14. "A. Red said...
    I had to fight a lot growing up"

    no shit......i woulda never guessed!!!


  15. @BJ...I like how ur enjoying the camp stories over the fire...BUT...urrr ruhhhh...go ahead & tell us yours...we need to hear the male perspective....*waits patiently*

  16. SOME people seem to NOT appreciate my contribution to their blog.. seems I need to be more detailed in my ass whoop history. lol. ok, the oldest fight i remember having was 2nd grade. it was straight outta prison. this kid donny, lil black sumbitch wit a brillo pad afro punched me in the mouth.. why?.. cuz i didn't want to give him my fruit cup. lil black nigga broke my tooth and all that. told you it was straight outta prison like, "you want yo cornbread!"

    i had plenty of fights after that up til the 9th grade. 3 of those included someone straight stealing my jaw. i got jumped twice (more than 1 person).

    but you gotta understand, i gave 10 times as much as i got! and i had a thing for going after bullies like greg (4th) and paul(6th). and i still don't like pretty boys like philip (5th). then there are some moments where i went too far like with moses and dwayne. moses was lucky cuz that lil african could run fast as hell. and i shouldn't have cracked dwayne in the mouth and thrown him in the garbage. it was his first day but he played me in class on that day too. so i feel justified when i think about it LOL.

    and then there are the numerous fights with my brother who is 6 yrs older than me. he's the reason i hated bullies. but i dropped his ass into a corner when i was 14. muthafucka layin on the floor lookin bewildered. that nigga never even looked my direction again.

    you happy! ya boy's a fighter.. LOL

  17. LOL @ BJ. I can honestly say I never started nothing, but I always finished it. I have a smart mouth in fun or when someone comes at me sideways, but never on some bullying type stuff.

    LMAO @ President Anthony Taurus! That story was high-larious.

  18. Well it's about damn time @ Prez...hahahha...acting like you had amnesia & shit & couldn't remember 1 fight...then I call u out & you remember 10 fights, all they names, what they were wearing & their SS#'s....HAHAHAH...Thank You 4 ur contribution that was funny as hell...hahahha

    oh & you got in a fight with a kid named Moses??? WTF??? UR going to H..E..Double Hockey Sticks 4 that one...(smh)

  19. lol me and moses squashed it. we ended up hustling scholar dollars in the long run.

    good story too.. scholar dollars was like a payment system with fake money. we used it buy shit like trips to the bathroom or to get water lol. the teacher made moses the banker. one day we was playin and i lost my lil wallet. i found it later empty, 200+ gone. i was a good student. had stupid bank. lol.

    i told the teacher and she shitted on me. i took what lil scholar dollars i had left and made copies lol. yup, ya boy was counterfeiting at 10yo.

    so, she made an announcement about it. you know these these niggas in the classroom was all whisperin my name REAL LOUD. and i hit some of them niggas off wit the counterfeit money. anyway, the teacher started signing the money. so, i got into forgery lol.

    teacher found out about that. she started using colored paper. by that time, i had like a G stack so i was good til the end of the year anyway. but here come my main man moses. he got access to the printed up sheets, ALL PRE-SIGNED. i proposed the idea and he bit. we started stealing from the bank LOL.

    yup. 10yo. fraud, counterfeiting, forgery, and grand theft.. all in the 5th grade.

    and the teacher ended up canceling the scholar dollar program. MWAHAHAHAHAHA.

    i should blog this huh?

  20. @Prez..please bare with me...it's gonna take me a minute to read this ESSAY...I''m currently on Page 4...


  21. I got in a fight with this dude in high school. No big deal...now that dude's in jail for killing two people. That's deep.

    Odara, you keep writing stuff like this, you're wasting your talent on celebrity gossip that fifty-elevenhundred other blogs have already discussed to def.

  22. Thanks @ Tyroc....I am really thinking about changing my formula because that celeb ish does get pretty damn old!!!

    and WOW @ fighting a serial killer...LOL...I had a crush on a dude that ended up murdering somebody...LOL (hmmmm maybe I should blog about that) LOL

  23. This post is too damn funny!!!!

  24. It was the 80s, I was in 9th grade and I was rocking a jheri curl (like ola ray from thriller video). I got into a fight with this chick who had to wear skirts all the time cause of her religious background. I apparently said something smart about this dude she liked and it got back to her. She'd been wanting to fight me since we shared the same boyfriend at one time. Anyway, that trick tried to pull out my curl. She was hating cause it was long and what not and she had a nappy ol perm. I remember my brother pulling my bookbag off and we got to scrapping. We were rolling around in the middle of the cot dang street like a couple of hoodrats. But I got in a few shots and that heffas face was good and red. The next day she came to school with a bunch of makeup on. She wasn't fooling nobody.

    Don't mess with a black woman and her jheri curl.

  25. OMG @ Kim...hahhaahhaha....thanks 4 sharing that...now that is too funny!!! and I'm over here dying @ you bringing up Ola Ray from Thriller....hahahahhahaha

    But that's right...u don't mess with a girl's hair....lol

  26. *waves at Odara* I finally made it.. and spit soda through my nose reading this post!! Funny ish girl!

    My first fight sounds a bit like yours, but it was in the 8th grade and the bully of the school kept calling me a bish in front of everyone. Well one day maybe it was the planets aligning, or the moon in retrograde, but I had had enough and turned around and clocked ole girl right in her grill. You know the saying the bigger they are - the harder they fall? Well that heffa must have made Cali quake a bit, because as soon as she hit the ground I did the two step shuffle all over her face. Needless to say - that girl never bothered me again!

  27. Raider_Wifee!!!!!!!!!! Hey Girl....thx 4 dropping through...

    Hahahahah...Now see ur story is classic...people gonna realize they can't mess w/ everybody....Even Suge Knight can get knocked the eff out!!!!

    lmao!!! Thx 4 sharing that...& oh you know i'm adding you to the blogroll!!!!

  28. Odara nice post we all bneed this theraputic outlet holla @ ya man

  29. I've never had a fight in the first grade, but I did fight a boy in the third grade though lol

  30. LMAO!!!! LMAOOOO!!!! This made my side hurt and tears of laughter literally come down. This was a hilarious trip down memory lane. OMG! I saw the entire scene go down. I used to be one of them "kickball girls" too! :)

    It would be funny as all hell if Lyanna and her big ass googled her own name and ran up on this blog and this particular post, lmao!!!!

    You were a cutie pie! The pics and the GIF's were crazy! LOL! Especially those cuts from Save the Last Dance and Last Dragon. LOL!!!! You are so funny! You and Nodaysoff be killin' me with these back down memory lane posts. LOL!!!

  31. HAHAHA @ Sane!!! so you were one of those dedicated kick ball players too...would've been sliding into third and all....LMFAO!!!!

    I hope Iyanna does read this...I ain't scared...*looks over shoulder*

    hahaha...I bet all her kids wear those damn baseball barrettes too!

  32. lmao...girl i've been in some of those..one time when i was 15 got into a fight with dis girl...i dealt with her and she felt embarressed so she called her older sister..oh boy it was like dave vs. goliath, but same as you, i was throwin punches like a mad woman. just makin sure tha big bitch didn't get me on tha crowd...long story short my sister was close by and came and help me beat tha bitch. funny thing is tha big bitch is engaged to my dad's friends nephew..ahaha..

    ...oh and tha reason u were probably havin trouble finding tha picture is because they are called BUBBLES not BARRETTES...Barrettes u can usually clip.. bubbles on the other hand, have the 2 balls, tha string, and u have to live tie it around each other

  33. LMMFBAO!!!!!

    this was too much...toooo much, great post! love the way it was written and all the images! (*Hi Five!*) lol

  34. @Free...Thx Chica!!!

    @Starr....damn...LOL that's messed up now the chic is gonna be a part of the family...LOL...and Thx 4 the heads up on those hair bows...I was like man why can't I find these things!!!

  35. omg wtf!! she really tried to say sorry the next day hiss. gosh didnt u just hate those parts in the arguement that u realized a fight had to go down, and you couldnt back out even if u wanted to.

  36. Then all of a sudden the playground looked like a scene from The Last Dragon when that little Chinese dude whipped out the nunchucks to help Bruce LeeRoy's ass...


  37. My first, and only, school fight happened when I was in the 7th grade. This girl who was in 2 of my classes named Sharon decided that she hated me. To this day, I still don't know why she didn't like me. We also rode the same bus, so I had to see her going home too. So in Algebra one day she and this other boy I didn't like were talking about it. I sat in the front of the class and they sat in a row behind me. So I heard everything they said. While the car riders were leaving on the first bell, I was talking to my friend Rashaunda (lol, yes)and I told her that I was really tired of Sharon talking about me. So this heffa goes out into the hallway where Sharon was and tells her what I said. Sharon comes in the class yelling, saying she didn't care if I didn't like her. She came over to the desk I was sitting at and started yelling in my face so I pushed her back and then the fight started.

    It was mostly hair pulling and scratching. She actually pulled some of my hair out and I left scratches all over her face. It was my first fight ever so I didn't get into too much trouble, I had a week of in school detention. She got suspended. Like I said, I still don't know why this child didn't like me, but 2 months or so after this fight, she decided, like a crazy person, that she wanted to be friends with me. I did my best to stay away from her, but she wanted to talk to me while we were on the bus or in class. So yeah, I think she was insane lol.