"10 Reasons Why A Brotha Ain't Gettin' No Play"

I'm just gonna step outside the box today & address a few things. So the other night I was chitchatting on Twitter with my homeboy Chad Bell from The Concrete Journal. We were discussing the post he did on 'Ten Ways Women Scare Men Off'; which is a GREAT post by the way so make sure you check it out...So in the midst of this convo I was challenged...Yes yall challenged like a young rapper @ recess about to spit a freestyle...(LOL) So me being me you know I HAD to accept...I believe it went a little something like this "I challenge you to do one for the women. I would like to read it; as Heathcliff Huxtable said on the Cosby show(you know nuthin about this show young punk)....Chaaallenge! "....(wait did you call me a young punk??? lmfao) Game On!!!


Excessive Calling...
*****PSA****** fellas please take notes. True Story: I met a guy @ the gas station we exchanged numbers...he wanted to know what time I got off work, I told him 6pm...I got a call around 4pm...didn't answer...got another call around 5:30pm, nope still didn't answer...this time he left a voicemail "Odara this is ____ call me back".... I didn't like his tone in the message & @ this point I was aggravated that dude already called me twice after I told his ass what time I got off of work. By the end of the day I had 7 missed calls & 2 voice messages & this all occurred on the same day I met dude. The calls continued for the next 4 days then finally I guess dude got the damn hint.

My Point? Calling a girl back 2 back is NOT ok. We appreciate the fact that you're showing interest but ringing the phone once & calling right back just to make sure
girly wasn't in the bathroom or something & couldn't hear your call...is NOT the answer...One call is sufficient, don't call right back leave a second voicemail & a text message expecting us to to get back right away. No Sir being a Bug-A-Boo will get that ass dismissed real quick.

Bragging...
Oh so your a baller hunh? 10,526 times is the number of times I've had a dude mention his material possessions throughout our conversations. He mentioned his bank account, the $6,000 ring he bought his ex, his high rise condo, his Mercedes-Benz
SLK 55 & everything else I couldn't have cared any less about. It's a known fact that REAL men with money don't talk about money...it's taboo. Yes 'we' ladies like a well established man whose doing something decent with his life...BUT constantly bragging about your wealth & or accomplishments gets you that much closer to the Exit sign with empty pockets of course *wink*. Now if we were Trife & milked you for what you're worth you'd be the first one yelling "GOLD DIGGER"...And I can't leave out Mr. Important you know the dude who knows everybody...his other line rings & he tells you he's gotta call you back because he's gotta take Jeezy's call...(HAH) Nickka Please!

Mentioning Sex Way To Soon...
Lets Talk About Sex...yeah let's talk about it. Bringing up the nookie after only 2 conversations & a trip to IHOP is OFF LIMITS...(it's ok if that's what you like but don't be shocked when your a victim of the old hit it & quit it routine) Dude I don't know you & you don't know me; as long as we're clear about what your sexual preference is then I'm really gonna need you to hold off on the over sexualized convo's for now; we just met & unless your presence is hitting me with some of those old school Bille Dee Williams kinda vibes & the panties just melt off...then nah Bruh I'll pass. If that's all you can think to talk about then you have solidified the fact that the cookies will stay in the jar...

Overly Confident...
We've all met that dude...you know the one who's convinced he's so smooth that by the end of his sweet talking escapades he'll have our eyes rolling like three dice hitting triple sixes...NEGATIVE...It's one thing to be confident but confidence mixed with a little bit of arrogance & a whole lot of cockiness is a MAJOR turn off. You don't want to give us the impression that you think your the sh*t & a six pack of grape soda. Walking around like we should feel privileged to be in your presence....No Sir....NEXT!!!

Dropping By Uninvited With An Empty Stomach....
Oh you were just in the neighborhood? Riiiight Unh Hunh...Don't get mad if I don't come to the door...in fact I just may kill all the noises in the house & play invisible like I do when the Jehovah witnesses come knocking. It's one thing to drop by unexpectedly but when you expect to get fed...Nickka you better think again...Just because I let you in don't get too comfortable because I only cater to invited guest. Get your feet off the coffee table & stop asking about the aromas you smell coming from
the kitchen because that sh*t ain't got nothing to do with you. Next time you'll think twice before rolling up with a stomach on 'E'...

Male PMSing...
Diddy ain't never lied...Bitchassness is a growing epidemic. Nothing pisses me off more than a dude who acts like he bleeds & cramps once a month. Men take note...Women are temperamental creatures...we can be as delicate as a flower one minute & bitchier than Prince breaking one of his stiletto heels while twirling to purple rain, the next. But please leave those characteristics to us. It's ok to be sensitive every now & then...I mean we're all human. BUT throwing temper tantrums, whining, started dumb ass arguments & having a 'moment' all out of the blue is NOT normal...Dude you can bounce & don't touch my Motrin on the way out.

Possessive Tendencies...
It's a known fact that men are territorial when it comes to their women; which is all well & good...nothing wrong with claiming what's yours bruh...BUT claiming your throne way too soon raises all kinds of red flags...I'm a firm believer in paying attention to the warning signs & some of you brothas are guilty of throwing out plenty of them.
Scenario: You & your honey are riding in the car & you answer your cell phone...then all of a sudden the radio gets LOW, LOw, Low, low. WTF? your new dude just turned the music down & is trying to inconspicuously get an earful of your convo. after finishing your phone call he asks you "yo who was that???"

...later on that night...


Scenario 2:
Your cranking up to head home from work but the car won't start...it just so happens your coworker Sean sees your ordeal & offers to give you a jump...you tell Sean that you've already called your honey & he's on his way but Sean insists on giving it a try...then your honey pulls up in time to witness you cranking up while Sean's removing his jumper cables...On the way home your dude asks "why didn't you wait on me? what the eff was that nucka tryna prove?".....Woahhhh....dude chill out you can't be serious...***PSA***Guys these kind of questionable traits will have us running faster than Tina after Ike told everybody to leave the studio when she couldn't get that note right. Questioning your girl about another dudes motives is NOT sexy...it just confirms the fact that your ass just might be KahRayZay!!!!!!!!

Too Clingy...
Fellas go sharpen your pencils & get the notepad back out....I personally can't stand a dude that I just met & he's WAY too touchy feely. Asking for hugs & sh*t & can't talk to me without touching me. And this is the same dude who always wants to be all up under you. It's rare that we complain about a guy being overly affectionate; usually he's not being affectionate enough BUT when the guy is smothering a sista harder than a turkey based in holiday gravy...that poses a PROBLEM...& Jigga What? Jigga Who? Dude we've been talking all of two months & you just tried to slip in the L' word...(I'll save that one for another post LOL)

Weak Dialogue...
Ever meet a dude who had so much to say but really wasn't saying sh*t? Limited conversation no subject/verb agreement...just a whole bunch of yappity yap...He calls you & you end up initiating the majority of the convo while he's breathing directly into the receiver. Yeah it goes both ways but DON'T call my phone talking about absolutely nathin'...because you'll be hearing the AT&T theme song quicker than a bill collector threatening to send me over to collections...(AT&T theme song=dial tone...4 the slow people lol)



Can't Handle Rejection...
I know this is a VERY sensitive subject for some; BUT I've gotta bring a few things to light on this one. Nothing turns be off more than a dude who can't comprehend the meaning of NO or Not Interested. And I'm not talking about some random dude who gets mad that you don't want to holla back...NOPE...I'm referring to the dude who does an elaborated 360 on your ass the moment you tell him something he's not interested in hearing like the word NO...Scenario: You & your honey are cozy on the sofa watching a flick then all of a sudden he makes a play for a little one on one love scene...your not feeling it so you tell him not 2night babe...then things quickly turn sour...all of a sudden he's not interested in watching the movie or sitting next to your mood killing ass...his attitude gets real janky & he's being short with you for the rest of the night. * OK TIME-OUT; do you really think it's ok to act like a six year old when things don't go your way...Not only is it immature but these kind of dudes specialize in pulling that tick for tack type of sh*t...keep having those uncontrollable b*tch spasms & I guarantee you'll find yourself by yourself...

20 comments:

  1. Good shit O. I try to be mindful of the same shit when I meet a woman. A few simple rules I follow:
    -pay attention
    -give space
    -find something better to do

    Kills all that craziness.

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  2. Great piece..You made some really good points. I feel you on your part but I know what it's like to be on the other end lol.

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  3. Haaaaaaaaaa!!! OMG! How many of those damn scenarios have I been in??? Can you say all of them!!! Damn girl! I loved this post.

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  4. CB from TheConcreteJournal.comAugust 17, 2008 at 10:54 PM

    Hahahahaha I love it.Your pics made it even funnier. I feel you on that clinginess. It is very annoying when someone always wants to be up under you. I must say you out did yourself Ms. Odara. This post is thee shit!

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  5. omg...whats the name of that sexy muhfug that was in soul food and u got his pic on here....whew them lips are to DIE for...but yes u killed it with the bugaboos...they're so scurrry these days...they're either too clingy like that or on the opposite end of the spectrum u gotta chase & chase...

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  6. *applauds*

    definitely a hot a post.... a great rebuttal to CB's post... so whats next? battle of the sexes? im thinking we should go all out. hehehehe

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  7. Hey girl!!!! @ goddess...you KNOW i HAD to put that picture up of that SEXY mofo...his name is Mel Jackson...& YES his lips are sooooo delicious....LOL...he almost made me 4get what the hell I was tryna post about...hahahhaah

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  8. Hey Fresh!!! Thanks Brotha! LOL @ the battle of the sexes thing...I don't know...we might be on 2 something...

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  9. Great post. But that phone thing goes both ways. I have put ya'll on speakerphone while ya'll complain about the bitch at work who called you out...then I dont have a choice but to "breath into the phone" and wait it out...im jus sayin........

    Dallas Black
    thirtyhood.blogspot.com

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  10. Hey Dallas Thanks 4 Dropping By!!! LOL UR absolutely right it definitely goes both ways...plus I've been in that situation ur referring too...& sometimes we just need to vent & it takes a guy whose a good listener even if he's not listening...LOL

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  11. Ok now you KNOW you get 2 thumbs up for this one, Odara. 100%!
    I've dealt with every example on the spectrum and I can truly attest that these are HUGE turn offs!

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  12. DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYUMMM; Bay-Bay!!!
    Sooooo.... whatchutrynasay?!?!?

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  13. LOL @ ccgroovy....did you read the guys version to this???

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  14. lol agreed!! ps: you have a lovely layout. hmm Ill srep my layout game maybe in a few months lol

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  15. This is definitely interesting. Coming from my perspective (a black man's), I know the game very well and a lot of these things I can't even IMAGINE someone doing (ex. dropping by uninvited on an empty stomach)...but I guess not everyone is built like me and that causes the problem. Because A LOT of the brothers out here make us ALL look bad. But hey, I'm LOVING your blog girl!!! Definitely got a loyal reader w/ me now!!!

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  16. @bombchell...thanks 4 the love chica!!!

    @oneten...I definitely appreciate the black man's perspective!!! & I'll be the first to say everything on my list can go both ways...LOL some of us women do it too...LOL & Thanks 4 The Love!!!!

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  17. OH HELL TO THE NO!!!! Odara you know for a FACT you my girl and a bag of pearls but i cant let you do us like we the only ones.

    Excessive Calling-you know for a fact that yall do that more than us.1 girl called me 11 times in one day (long story)

    Bragging-omg a woman who went to college and has a good job will never let you forget it.i dont need a man this i am independent that.sigh...

    Mentioning Sex Way To Soon-jesus christ we cant win for losing.if we dont initiate sex,yall wont cause yall dont wanna look like hoes.if we wait too long we end up in the friend zone.

    Overly Confident-please.do you really wanna get me started on that?every woman i know thinks she Beyonce and you cant tell her different.i give plenty side eyes


    Dropping By Uninvited With An Empty Stomach-how about going out with empty pockets? girls act like soon as you ask for their number thats the last time theyll ever pay for anything.please please dont get me started O

    Possessive Tendencies-let a dude have some nice shit and well see whos possessive.girls aint trying to get it for themselves.any time a halfway decent chick is around they be feeling all threatened like she gonna mess up what she got going on.when you buy her a $300 pair of shoes and the cashier making $7.50/hr gives you her best smile well see whos posessive

    Too Clingy...
    -the older you get the more chicks trying to get wifed up.all her friends done got married and shes in line at ladies night.yeah right


    Weak Dialogue... -pretty girls are so used to just having to look good that a lot of them dont got shit going on upstairs.they been taken care of since they been old enough to screw so a lot of the ones i met aint never been to college or even had a job so they dont really got shit to say

    girl i used to know: i woke up like 2 oclock today,went to the mall and got me this jazzy ass dress to wear to the cookout saturday.my homegirl came over and redid my braids,we got fucked up,then went to the club


    Can't Handle Rejection...
    -bad chicks are so used to dudes salivating over them that when they meet a dude who not impressed by trophies anymore they be speechless.i tried to break up with this girl one tme (goddamn she was fine) she was shocked not cause she really cared about me but shed never had a dude tell her to kick rocks before


    sorry O had to do it.someone gotta stand up for the fellas

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  18. HA HA HA Nodaysoff ur hilarious

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  19. OMG!!!! n0days0ff....HAHAHAHHHAH.....you should post this on ur site! Hilarious!!! ur RIGHT though we do the same ish...but I think you guys keep over looking the male version of this list...I linked it @ the beginning of the post...

    Oh & be ready cause I got something else in store for you fellas later on....(hehehehehe)*evil laugh*

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  20. Loved this list Professor "Take Some Notes", and I love that pic of Tina and Ike, it's hilarious.

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